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discomfort

by Jeff Vicario

/
1.
Nothingness 03:38
We will wander Go no further We will ponder Until the end of time We will flounder Be torn asunder We’ll go under Til there’s no more light Nothingness Douse me with your - nothingness Caress me with your - nothingness Impress me with your - nothingness Nothing less Through there We’re going somewhere We’ll gather intel Until there’s no more light We will flounder Be torn asunder We’ll be together Until the end of time Nothingness Amuse me with your - nothingness Inject me with your - nothingness Drown me in your - nothingness Nothing less
2.
Alone 05:46
You've fallen in a trap of your own making Disaster looms ahead, you see heads shaking The only sound you hear is you Alone, alone, alone, alone You cannot fight You cannot hide Alone, alone, alone A consigliere approches bearing apron Upon which is inscribed an ultimatum “There’s only one way out, this is no fable"” The only sound you hear is you Alone, alone, alone, alone You cannot fight You cannot hide Alone, alone, alone
3.
Love 04:09
I know how You know when I can see You can tell Mainline adrenaline To staunch the flow Embedded within us The desire to go Love is a funny thing It grows Seemingly on a whim Hope is an ageless fling It dies Withering on the wind You believe I enact You maintain I redact Wave of destruction Against the tide Impulse controllable Buried inside Love is a funny thing It grows Seemingly on a whim Hope is an ageless fling It dies Withering on the wind
4.
The rear guard slams the door in your face The situation escalates There’s not much time to think A phone call stops you in your tracks A half familiar voice drones on and on On and on Can I interest you In this timeshare condominium? Free of charge You pour Your pointless aphorisms on The floor There is no function without form You soar High above Their scorn Your field of vision is impaired An embryo disintegrates Into a trillion sparkling shards An epidemic of despair The muffled sound of tiny marching feet Just down the street Can I interest you In this timeshare condominium? Free of charge You pour Your pointless aphorisms on The floor There is no function without form
5.
In the mists of time They were concealed Through restless light Slowly received On a mound of stone They were foretold Recited prayers Their minds controlled Castle Graveyard! Castle Graveyard! Shall rise In darkened times They were enshrined From distant skies Shone blazing eyes Castle Graveyard! Castle Graveyard! Shall rise
6.
A hundred wrongs for every right - we’ll take the streets The essence of the primal fight - to own the streets For each and every one - to hold the streets The end of every line - will be the streets Anarchists Clergymen Occupation Imminent Gunning down a dream Before long they will come for us - attack the streets Our allies will subvert the cause - to take the streets But until they force us down - we’ll hold the streets The end of every line - will be the streets Anarchists Clergymen Occupation Imminent Gunning down a dream
7.
Under a large “Restricted” sign An unhappy gathering Of conjoined but disjointed minds Their ecology shattering And the clock that will not unwind Lay accusing, summoning The Ghost Of Apocalypse Under a hazy nuclear sky Existence is faltering It’s not a question of when or why Time’s run out, summoning The Ghost Of Apocalypse
8.
I do so believe I'm not in vogue Observe but never interfere I do so insist And I won't be told Untied but never satisfied Wanting to die Is a simple endeavour First you flail At the root cause of it all Then you chuck it all in Only to wake up In a dimly lit drunk tank In the sickly sweet smell of survival Mind meandering I do so believe Life has taken hold Unchanged but still never quite the same I do so insist As I have been told Alive but never satisfied Wanting to die Is a simple endeavour First you flail At the root cause of it all Then you chuck it all in Only to wake up In a dimly lit drunk tank In the sickly sweet smell of survival Mind meandering
9.
Trauma 05:36
I’m not in shock Or in denial There’s no confusion Or disbelief I don’t feel pain Or anxiety There is no guilt No sense of shame Confusion Insomnia Nightmare Symposia It’s all my fault Responsibility There is no question I failed you all I feel the weight Of my own stupidity There’s only guilt And endless shame Confusion Insomnia Nightmare Symposia Severe depression Acute regression In some other realm This all makes sense And I am sane In another timeline Nothing’s finite And I am sane
10.
The world Is on fire It rages Unabated The shell Of an empire Crumbles In denial Our shelf life Has reached The throwaway point The existing order Is irredeemably corrupt The prevailing wisdom holds It will ever remain such The existing order Is irredeemably corrupt Its pervasive falsehood is And will ever remain such The sky Is an inferno A conflagration Absolute A hint Of a suggestion Too little Much too late Our shelf life Has reached The throwaway point The existing order Is irredeemably corrupt The prevailing wisdom holds It will ever remain such The existing order Is irredeemably corrupt Its pervasive falsehood is And will ever remain such
11.
I grew up frightened of The silent argument I melted into walls A hidden dissident Oceans of seething rage Washed over me Internalised Self actualised I’m all alone Oh, so alone In silence So pure In silence Endure In silence Unsure In silence Endure I almost killed myself Avoiding arguments No contest, no conflict Endless sleep I’m all alone Oh, so alone In silence So pure In silence Endure In silence Unsure In silence Endure

about

These songs were written over a period of over two years in 2020-2022. Some were written for other projects or albums but were never finished, and some specifically for this album. The end result is a fairly even split between the old and the new.

Null-O Band provided invaluable assistance and on most tracks I have relied extensively on their drum work.

credits

released December 3, 2022

Recorded and mixed by Jeff Vicario
Mastered with BandLab Mastering

Music, lyrics, arrangements: Jeff Vicario
Vocals, all instruments: Jeff Vicario
Drums, percussion: Null-O Band
Cover photograph: Blue Lemming

Thanks: Sini, Stan

The album is dedicated to the memory of David Graeber (1961-2020)

"Only the good die young, all the evil seem to live forever" - Harris/Dickinson

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Jeff Vicario Helsinki, Finland

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